The current news today about children dying of suicide is very alarming. Mariannet Amper, a 12 year old girl from Davao died of suicide out of despair for her family’s impoverished life. Nel, a 14 year old boy climbed a flyover in Iloilo in a suicide attempt apparently fuelled by rugby. Kristen Ariane Cuenca, a third grader who jumped off from the fourth level of a building of Malate Catholic School because of depression. Kristen was 9 years old.
The diary entries of Mariannet Amper would move you to tears. Her Ocober 5 entry read "Parang isang buwan na kaming absent. Hindi na kasi nakin (sic) binibilang ang absent ko. Hindi ko namalayan na malapit na pala ang Pasko." [It feels as if we’ve been absent for a month. They’re not counting my absences anymore. I just realized that Christmas is just around the corner.] On October 14, Mariannet wrote in her diary: "Hindi kami nakapagsimba dahil wala kaming pamasahe at nilalagnat pa ang aking tatay kaya nanglaba na lang kami ng aking nanay." [We were not able to hear mass because we did not have fare money and my dad was sick with fever. So, my mom and I just washed clothes.]
Along with her diary, the Ampers also discovered a letter Mariannet wrote for the GMA 7 television program "Wish Ko Lang [I just Wish]."
"Gusto ko po sana magkaroon ng bagong sapatos at bag at hanapbuhay para sa nanay at tatay ko. Wala kasing hanapbuhay ang tatay at nagpa-extra extra lamang ang aking nanay sa paglalaba," she said in her "Wish Ko Lang" letter. [I wish for new shoes, a bag and jobs for my mother and father. My dad does not have a job and my mom just gets laundry jobs.]
"Gusto ko na makatapos ako sa pag-aaral at gustong-gusto ko na makabili ng bagong bike," she added. [I would like to finish my schooling and I would like very much to buy a new bike.]
The letter, apparently written while Mariannet was still 11 years old, was never sent to "Wish Ko Lang."
I, myself, have thoughts about “dying by suicide” (I adopted Ms. Noemi Dado’s politically correct term, replacing the terms “committed suicide or “completed suicide”) but I still haven’t been to the point of really doing it. I know many of us do entertain thoughts about suicide. It is just normal to do that. What is not normal is if you have tried doing it or attempted to do it. For myself, I have God to turn to. I still have the fear of God. There’s a Bible verse (forgot the exact chapter and verse) that says “Your trouble is too little compared to what Jesus has experienced” or something to that effect and another one that says “no problem has been experienced in this world that was not experienced before.” I think my problem is too small compared with the others and even compared to Mariannet Amper. I guess that’s sufficient reason enough for me to stay alive.
What about the children that I mentioned above? It seems that the common denominator to the children is that they are all poor. The news articles says that the children committed suicide because they lost hope and can no longer carry the big burden that they carry in their small bodies. Have they lost the belief that there is a God? Is poverty really the reason for their suicides? Who is to blame? Why?
There are a lot of questions that needs to be answered. Not just by the parents of the children, the community, the government, and even ourselves. Because I believe we are all to be blame for this one way or another. I wouldn’t dare answer the questions because I don’t have the answer. No one does.
However, I think the government gets a big part of the blame. They keep telling that the economy is rising. The peso is getting stronger. The GNP growth rate is high. But when contacted by the media about Mariannet’s case, the only reply government has is that “it’s an isolated issue.” The reason why rich get richer and the poor gets poorer is because of the government’s idea of industrialization. The so-called “industrialization” just benefits the rich. The president does everything in her power to get something she wants. The rich wants to have more money to have power. The poor in turn wants to have more money to get more power. What they and we don’t realize is that money or power won’t really solve the problem.
I used to say that I envy the children because they don't worry about things. They don't have problems to think of. How can I say that now when a 12 year-old child worries about getting food on the table for his/her family?
I used to think that problems, no matter how big, can be resolved if we have the heart of a child. How can I say that today when the heart of a child tells him/her to take his/her own life so that his/her problems will be permanently solved?
Again, I don't have the answer.
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