Birthday Thoughts
Tomorrow (April 20) will be my 31st birthday and since I might not have the time to write a blog about it tomorrow, I might as well write about it now.
The past year of my life has been a roller-coaster ride for me especially the past few months. I resigned from my previous call center job in NCO, only to get hired again in another call center company. How about that?
I resigned from NCO because I didn't want to work in a call center anymore and thinking that I am already done with the call center chapter of my life. I was wrong. I surveyed the job that I can apply and get hired and the pay that I will be getting and found out that there's only a few jobs that I have a big chance of getting hired. Not to mention the fact that the pay that I will be getting in those jobs is less than half of what the call center companies are offering. With the bill and the debts that we have, it would be very hard to get a "normal" job for me. Besides, looking back at my stint in NCO, it didn't end well. I resigned because I wasn't performing well. I don't want my call center career ending on a low note. So here I am again in call enter Company. But this time, it's not just a call center company. It is Asia's most awarded call center company. I will write about my new company exclusively in another blog entry.
Even though the past few months have been a wild ride, it is where the most important turn-around of my life happened. This started when I started attending mass in "The Feast."
Let me list the great things that happened in my life after I started attending "The Feast" below:
62. I became closer to God once more.
It's been a long while since I had this "conversations" with God. I can't remember when it stopped exactly but it started when I slowly drifted away from "praying."
It's not that I stopped praying. I was just simply mumbling the words that I was saying to Him and did not really meant what I was saying. God obviously was not replying back to me. It took years before I got back the relationship that I wanted and needed from Him. Now, it's good to know that I have it back entering my 31st year in this world.
63. I found a very good friend in Melissa (and she found a friend in me).
There is one person responsible for bringing me to "The Feast" and that's my former ACS officemate Melissa. She had been bugging and texting me to come with her to this “The Feast” thing. I wasn’t budging. I was comfortable in going to Mass in SM North Edsa every Sunday and I intended to go there for the rest of my life. She didn’t give up and last December, I finally said yes. I went to "The Feast" for the first time and it was one of the best decisions I made in my life.
My relationship with Melissa before in ACS was more of an acquaintance although there were a lot of times that she keeps telling me about her problems with regard to her love life (she still does up to now). The difference is that, before what she tells me her problems about her love life, it goes in to my left ear but gets out of my right ear which means I really don’t give it much though and importance (sorry Mel, just being honest..haha). But now I try to give her the same sound advice that I'm giving my male friends. (What's wrong with you guys?! I don't have a love life of my own and I'm the one you guys are asking for advice about your love life?! Must be with romance books I read and the rom-com movies I watched in the past. Hehe.)
Right now, I have a great relationship with Mel as shown in the text message (she also requested that I add it as a testimonial to her Friendster account) that I sent her before. I will write it down below for since it has a great message.
"I love being your friend...Doing little things to brighten your life and watching you burst into a warm smile that says, "thank you for being you." But what I like most is how you and I became friends. No demands, no using each other, no pretensions, no lies. Just letting those wonderful feelings grow and in return realizing that being friends is a rich and rewarding experience, especially when that friend is you. That makes all the difference in the world...glad to have you around. (",)"
She replied back saying that the feeling is mutual and I am sure it is.
I already told her this personally but I will still write it here: Thank you Mel for being an instrument in bringing me back closer to God.
64. I now have directions in life.
I have a lot of dreams in my life. There is nothing wrong with that, right? Not really. I have dreams but the problem is that I am not doing anything to achieve them. What's the use of having a dream if you're not doing anything to achieve it? Thanks to Bo Sanchez, I now have goals and not just dreams. I now have short-term and long-term goals in my life and these goals will be the ladder to achieve my dreams.
65. I have learned to let go.
There are two sides to this statement - the past and the future. Let me start with the past. As you can see in my previous blog entries, I am the type of person who can't get over the past mistakes that I did. Especially if the decision I made a big impact to my life. It would take me months and even years before I can accept the fact that I made a mistake. It would eventually take a big toll on me. My energy is wasted in thinking about some thing that I really can't do anything about anymore. And what happens to me? Nothing. Now I know how to let go. Friends, learn to let go. As what my friend Edmund and I joke around and say to each other whenever we keep telling about the past mistakes that we did, "Kalimutan mo na 'yon!"
I already know that you need to let go of the past before. It’s just that I didn’t know how to go about it. What I didn’t know is you also need to let go of the future.
As you have read, I now have dreams and now have goals in my life order for me to achieve these dreams. Again, there's nothing wrong with that, right? Again, I answer not really. Some people or a lot of people have dreams and they have goals. However, they do everything to achieve their goals and their dreams even if what they are doing is not morally or ethically right. Even if it is against what God had commanded us to do. I will do everything, and I mean everything, that I can in order to achieve my goals and dreams in my life but it has to be moral, ethical, and I am not disobeying God's law. Why? Because if I did everything to achieve my goals and dreams but did not look at the moral or ethical side of what I did and just did about anything, karma will come faster than I can imagine. My dreams will come crashing down. Right after I achieved them.
Where does the phrase "letting go" figure in all this? You just have to do everything that you can as long as there's nothing wrong with what you are doing and then "let go" of your dreams. You might be surprised and wondering, what and why? Bo Sanchez (I learned this from him, too) said you should just let go and let God. That is because you are not sure and no one is sure that you will achieve your dreams. It's up to God. What's important is that you did everything to achieve those dreams and if you didn't get it, you would end up still happy because you did everything all you can to achieve them. You will also realize that come future, if you didn't get what you dream of, you already outgrew it. Wha..?
Let me give you an example in my life. About 3 or 4 years ago, I dreamt and I always wanted to go to Boracay. I didn't have enough money to get there at that time but I knew that if I started working in an call center that handles an international account, I can easily save money and go to Boracay. So when I started working in NCO two years ago, I started saving for the summer of next year. True enough, the next summer I had the money to go to Bora. But I didn't able to because my brother needed money for him to go abroad and work.
So my "Boracay dream” didn't push through last year. Now I also have money to go there courtesy of my back pay in NCO. Am I going to Bora this summer? No. Not because I'm being thrifty (okay, I admit...yes, a little) or anything. I already outgrew my dream of going to Bora. The dream and desire to go to Bora is not the same at it was 3 years ago. The place is not as beautiful as it was 3 years ago. The water is now green and there are a lot of waste issues going on there. But I am not less happy because I still haven’t gone there. I have the money to go there and I know I did everything for me to achieve the dream of going to Boracay. I just chose not to go there.
So, if you have a dream, like we all do, do everything that you can to achieve them as long as you’re not doing anything wrong. Then let go….
…and let God.
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